


No Holds Barred

by spoken



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 04:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoken/pseuds/spoken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Yunho's Fanboy Association tournament in which everyone fights to the death to win Yunho's love. With the power of soft toys and other similarly deadly weapons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Holds Barred

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://kaerb.tumblr.com/post/58505428413/jaddasroots-when-yunho-be-a-hyung-a) Tumblr tag and [this post](http://empressjung.tumblr.com/post/30248486475/a-sacred-guide-into-jung-u-know-yunhos-fanboys). Because of reasons, one of which is a picture folder on my harddrive entitled 'Yunho's fanboys'. I legit have picture proof for everyone mentioned here.

**ONE**  
  
“I THOUGHT OUR STRATEGY WAS TO STICK TOGETHER!” Jonghyun howls as he fends off a particularly vicious assault of flying teddy bears from Hyunseung in the corner. Onew is too busy beating Baekhyun on the head with a rubber chicken to reply, but it’s okay because Hyunseung trips over the pillow fort that Luhan is building in the corner, which gives Luhan the chance to squirt a water pistol in Hyunseung’s face, thus Jonghyun has a chance to regroup and steal the teddy bears that landed close by.  
  
Unfortunately, he revels in his tiny moment of victory for a bit too long because there is a muffled _THWACK_ on the back of his head and Jonghyun sees stars before the band around his arm loudly proclaims he’s out.  
  
“ _Taeminnie_!”  
  
Taemin gives Jonghyun a beaming smile that leaves Jonghyun craving an exorcist. Or his life. Or preferably both.  
  
“Sorry _hyung_ , this is one thing I can’t let you win,” Taemin says, glossy mushroom hair backlit impressively by studio lights before he jumps back into the fray, armed with his pillow and inflatable hammer like a vengeful god, glitter pants gleaming.  
  
  
 **TWO**  
  
Karam’s strategy is to stay out of the way, protected under the mountain of inflatable beach balls and pillows and gigantic plushie rabbits until the SM groups have taken each other out.  
  
They’re doing a pretty good job, he thinks, clutching the handle of his inflatable sword a little more tightly and taking care not to breathe too obviously. Most of the EXO kids have been knocked out by each other and Taemin and Kai are engaging each other in a complicated dance-off duel involving oversized boxing gloves and a concerning pile of packing peanuts.  
  
Minho and Hongki are duelling on a plank mounted over the rainbow ball pit with an inflatable baseball bat and a Nerf gun respectively. Onew and Kwanghee are scrambling to get at the large water gun mounted high on one wall using bedsheets tied to each other.  
  
All in all, Karam’s doing pretty well for himself. He thinks it’ll ultimately come down to a duel with Taemin and wonders if there is any salt around.  
  
  
 **THREE**  
  
“This is _so_ not fair!” Hyunyeol complains loudly. “You said this was for fanboys. How do we compete with _idols_? Do I look like I exercise enough to keep up with them?”  
  
The small Japanese boy (Kendo? Kenta?) on his right nods fervently, though Hyunyeol isn’t sure whether it’s in agreement or just because of the general air of unhappiness in the ‘eliminated contestants’ pen. There are still a couple of ordinary fanboys in the fray, but they’re getting picked out worryingly fast by an enthusiastic Kangin.  
  
Sam Lansky is still trying to reason with Shim Changmin, PD and producer, who is too busy laughing to really listen to what he’s saying. Privately, Hyunyeol thinks the foreigner should have at least dyed his hair so he would be a less obvious target.  
  
“You’ll get a consolation prize,” Changmin assures them, pausing to give Minho an encouraging wave as the former slams a pillow into Hongki’s face.  
  
  
 **FOUR**  
  
“You are never the same once you enter the arena,” Seungri had warned him.  
  
Daesung groans as he makes his way past the wreckage. The fallen fanboys around him follow his movements, blank and exhausted.  
  
Daesung pauses beside a fanboy lying among a bed of rubber ducks. The boy’s glasses are slightly askew, his right hand facing up and slightly outflung. A single stuffed penguin looks out sadly from his belt.  
  
“All I wanted was for Yunho- _hyung_ to give me a hug,” the boy says.  
  
“Me too,” someone says in the distance.  
  
Daesung clasps the boy’s hand. “He gives the best hugs in the world.”  
  
“I know,” the boy whispers, eyes fluttering closed.  
  
Daesung considers covering the boy with rubber ducks fallen around him but a stuffed Pororo narrowly misses his head so he thinks he should probably go.  
  
  
  
 **FIVE**  
  
“I thought this was for _dongsaengs_ only,” Eunhyuk says. Or at least that’s what he tries to say. When someone is pinned to the ground by Kang Ho Dong slam-tackle, one’s diction is not particularly clear.  
  
Donghae pats him on the head sympathetically.  
  
“Don’t underestimate the _hyung_ alliance,” Leeteuk warns cheerfully, repelling an attempted attack by Daesung by throwing another stuffed Pororo down at him.  
  
Junjin is carefully building a catapault, ready to launch at the battles below. What’s more concerning is that he’s armoured himself with rather disfigured-looking Pikachu plushies. Eunhyuk hadn’t even realised there was another level in this arena. He’s also kind of glad he’s up here because Junjin had informed him that Jong Kook _sunbae_ was prowling around below.  
  
“Amateurs,” Junjin snorts, watching Kris trip over his own legs trying to escape a vicious water gun attack by Onew. “That Taemin has potential though.”  
  
“We’ll find out if he can survive when this alliance breaks,” Leeteuk says, smiling his best scary smile in Junjin’s general direction.  
  
Eunhyuk knows better by now. “Aren’t you all working for Heechul? Isn’t that the only reason why you’re alive right now?”  
  
Junjin looks at Donghae, who looks at Leeteuk, who sort of deflates.  
  
Eunhyuk raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t Heechul-hyung still in the army?”  
  
“Just because he’s not here doesn’t mean he’s not invested in this,” Donghae says, a little nervously.  
  
  
  
 **SIX**  
  
“Five on Taemin,” Sooyoung says, leaning over to steal a chip from the packet that Amber’s holding.  
  
“Five on Jong Kook oppa,” Go Ara counters.  
  
“As if,” Yoona scoffs. “Didn’t you see that Karam kid hiding before? He’s dedicated.”  
  
“I think Heechul-oppa is involved,” Sulli offers, head on Victoria’s shoulders. There is a loud bang from below in the arena, followed by a series of manly whimpers.  
  
Jessica raises an eyebrow. “Do you think Changmin would mind if we auctioned off Yunho’s extra room key? We could buy dinner for everyone.”  
  
There is a general enthusiastic consensus.  
  
“We could send _unni_ to distract Changmin- _oppa_ while we hold the auction,” Krystal suggests, poking Victoria. The latter rolls her eyes.  
  
“Didn't you take the extra room key?” Park Soo Jin asks, nudging BoA.  
  
“I had it,” BoA shrugs. “Already gave it away.”  
  
All the girls in the VIP lounge groan.  
  
“For free?”  
  
"You could have _bought things_."  
  
“ _Who_?"  
  
BoA smiles. “Someone who needs it more than I do.”  
  
  
 **SEVEN**  
  
The camera pans from Karam’s estatic face, flushed from exertion, to Taemin looking crestfallen and Yunho sighs, leaning back against the headboard of his gigantic bed-slash-sofa.  
  
He’s always been against these games, particularly since he’s perfectly happy to share equal amounts of affection with everyone, but after a particularly eventful Dream Concert where a mini war had resulted in the scuffle to grab his hand for the encore, Changmin had put his foot down.  
  
“He’s cute,” Jaejoong muses. Even from the corner of his eye, Yunho can see the other smiling. “Thought he would be out for sure once Taemin summoned the powers of darkness. Or, you know, when Heechul-hyung actually appeared in person.”  
  
Yunho shivers a little, despite Jaejoong’s warm weight against his chest. He wraps his arms around Jaejoong’s shoulders a little tighter. He doesn’t envy Donghae and Leeteuk.  
  
“You better take Heechul-hyung out to dinner as an apology,” Jaejoong teases, turning and reaching up to gently poke the other’s cheek. “You know how hyung’s a sore loser. Or maybe Chun and Su can do it since they have nothing better to do than watch the entire game. Su says he wants to compete next year.”  
  
Yunho’s not quite listening, distracted by the way the light is falling across the planes of Jaejoong’s face, the light brown that’s Jaejoong’s recently dyed hair falling gently across his fingers. This temporary space of peace that he didn’t think he could ever have. He takes Jaejoong’s hand in his own, pressing his lips against the other’s knuckles and the underside of his wrist.  
  
Jaejoong exhales, a soft, amused sound. “Dork.”  
  
“I think this is cheating,” Yunho admits ruefully as, on screen, Karam beams at the camera and the other competitors applaud reluctantly from the background. Changmin bids the crowd goodnight and a reminder that casting calls are open for next year’s games.  
  
“Good thing you didn’t make Changminnie compete,” Jaejoong says, stretching, catlike. “No fun watching someone who’s always going to win.”  
  
“Why don’t you give him a run for his money?” Yunho teases.  
  
“Retired champions don’t need to defend anything,” Jaejoong huffs, sitting up.  
  
“You mean you’re old.”  
  
“Say that to _my face_.”  
  
  
 **EIGHT**  
  
Jung Yunho shows up to the prize giving ceremony with post-pillow-fight hair and a rather tightly draped scarf around his neck despite the warm spring weather. Karam’s too busy sobbing from fanboy feels to notice.


End file.
